Ames LiveBlahg

1:49 Santorum speaking. Seems to have a posse of white people in white shirts around him. I believe it’s his family. Whatever it is, it’s distracting. Sucks that he has to speak first. Oddly, Herman Cain has the last speaking slot.

1:51 Santorum apparently still thinks, two decades later, that anyone gives a shit about the culture wars.

1:53 Maybe it’s just me, but I think Santorum’s kids are pretty pissed about having to stand on stage with their crazy dad.

1:54 Short Santorum: Obamacare is the worst thing in the world since Hitler. Alright Rick, time to go sit down and fret about polygamy some more.

1:55 From @daveweigel: Some empty seats for Santorum

1:59 Some twitter reactions to Perry’s speech:
@LarrySabato: …Perry’s speech is Tea Party on steroids.
@TheFix: If you like dropping “g’s” from words, you are going to love Rick Perry.
@HowardKurtz: Perry wants to make DC “inconsequential in your life.” Does that include Medicare, Soc Sec, vets’ programs, air safety, FDA?
@HowardKurtz: Rick Perry says it took two decades to convince his wife to marry him. Nice touch. He has more of a drawl than I realized.

Small sample size, but coverage tonight and tomorrow will probably be along the lines of “Perry is Bush on steroids….Perry gives the Tea Party a jolt of espresso…Perry says he will kill government better than everyone else”. Well, those things will be implied, at the very least

2:10 Reading up on some blogs. Apparently CNN’s Don Lemon is openly gay. Who knew? Found out because of this Bachmann involved in unusual campaign moment – CNN Political Ticker – Blogs (well, mostly because ASullivan pointed it out here Shoving Don Lemon)

2:22 Ron Paul speaking now. Emphasizes that he used to be an OB/GYN. Definitely pandering to the “want a candidate that has seen a lot of pussy” crowd~

2:25 Not entirely surprised Paul is focussing so much on social issues. Here’s the strategy: all of his true supporters at Ames will never change to vote for someone else. So if he wants to beat Bachmann, he has to gain some of the few hundred undecideds in the house.

2:27 ugh, only Fox is showing all of the speeches without cutting away.

2:28 So predictable. Paul starts his anti-war schtick and Fox News cuts to commercial. This is no coincidence. They love to invite him on to their shows to rant against Obama then cut him off as soon as he starts using his libertarianism to complain about Republican-esque positions.

2:30 Watching here, because none of the cable channels are even broadcasting the speeches anymore.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

2:34 “Time to bring the troops home” -Ron Paul

2:35 Paul oddly suggests again that the military should come home and be used to protect our borders. I guess what he is trying to say is that the soldiers could transfer to the national guard or border patrol and help out, but it comes off as if he is in favor of suspending posse comitatus.

2:39 Remaining speakers:

2:50- Governor Tim Pawlenty delivers remarks

3:20- Congresswoman Michele Bachmann delivers remarks

3:50- Congressman Thaddeus McCotter delivers remarks

4:15- Herman Cain delivers remarks

2:40 Congressman Steve King on stage now. Being awkward and creepy as usual.

2:41 Sometimes I wonder what the kids of these politicians think. Isn’t there someone in the entire family that gets up and says each night “holy fuck mom/dad/honey, stop saying stupid shit!”

2:42 Steve King riffing about anti-Keynesianism. More awkwardness ensues.

2:45 King calls Obama a “malignant tumor”. #civildiscourse

2:47 King ends by saying that the next President should sign a bill repealing Obamacare right before taking the oath of office from Justice Roberts. That doesn’t even sound legal, but King has never been a person that lets facts get in the way of saying stupid shit.

2:49 Pawlenty is on, but I’m still confused by King’s last statement. He gave an entire speech about how Obama is evil and unconstitutional then suggested the next President begin their term by doing something grossly unconstitutional, then King ran off the stage. Truly bizarre.

2:51 Pawlenty: “Obama a manure spreader in a windstorm.” Taken literally that seems to suggest that Obama was trying to help the “soil” but was swept away by an “act of nature” that could not be predicted. Which is what has basically happened. Maybe Pawlenty just likes talking about poop.

2:54 “Mr. President: get the government off our backs” and the crowd goes wild.

2:55 About to hit Bachmann for stuffff. Pawlenty finally playing to his strength: he probably has the best executive record of accomplishment of any candidate besides Perry (at least from a conservative point of view).

2:57 Pawlenty talking about how great the middle states are, like everyone else today, implying the coasts are not worth his (or the GOP’s) time, like everyone else today.

2:59 Pawlenty: elect me so that America “will not perish from the earth”

Holy fuck man.

3:01 Bachmann up next, in 20 minutes. First, it’s Grassley time. This is going to be stupid.

3:04 Yea, I’m not watching Grassley. Arcade Fire time.

3:12 Is there a single Republican with something interesting to say besides Ron Paul? Their unity in saying the same shit over and over again just might give Paul a legitimate window to jump up as a candidate for people looking for “someone different”.

3:14 Bachmann’s intro video says her Norwegian ancestors settled in Iowa. Lizza’s piece on Bachmann last week said that’s blatantly false. They settled in like South Dakota, then moved to Iowa decades later because Iowa had better government benefits. Her bio when running in Minnesota used to say they settled in Minnesota. Say anything, do anything…

3:17 Bachmann starts. She’s rather animated. Her voice is painful to listen to. “ONE. TERM. PRESIDENT” blah blah blah. No one applauded for the line, because they have all heard her say it 200 times.

3:19 “Time for an Iowan in the White House” lol Michelle. She’s such a nutjob.

3:21 Republican speeches remind me of this scene from HIMYM

There is no “Now, we face serious problems…lets talk about them” (unless those serious problems are “Obama is evil”) followed by rising rhetoric. It’s boring to listen to. Not inspiring whatsoever. Everything is portrayed either as super duper evil or as essential to saving the world from itself.

3:24 God…the bible…founders…fuck taxes…etc…etc…etc

3:26 Every time Bachmann mentions she is on the House Select Committee on Intelligence all I can think of is who the fuck let Michelle Bachmann on the House Select Committee on Intelligence?

3:28 I need some excedrin #irony

3:29 “I love you all. I love you. God bless you. I love you. I love you all” except you, Barack Obamuslim

3:36 Only McCotter and Cain left. I’m going to take a break and jog now so I can get back for poll close around 5PM.

4:47 Apparently Cain gave a great speech. Missed it. Dave Weigel’s predicted top 4 is the same as my list yesterday, so that’s cool:

@daveweigel: Prediction for top 7: Bachmann, Paul, TPaw, Santorum, Cain, Perry write-ins, Romney



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